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The way society talks about body count in women says more about our culture than about us.
There’s a quiet but powerful double standard that lingers in how we talk about sex.
Men are praised for their “body count“—the running tally of partners they’ve had. It’s tossed around in group chats, used as currency in locker rooms, even paraded on dating profiles like a badge of honor. But when it comes to women? That same number is scrutinized, judged, weaponized.
Why?
Why is the same experience labeled power for one and shame for the other?
We’ve been fed a narrative that a man’s worth increases with the number of women he’s been with, while a woman’s worth somehow decreases with every partner she claims.
And let me be clear—I’m not saying everyone thinks like this. But we can’t deny it’s a social idea that still exists, even in subtle ways. And it’s cruel. It reduces us to numbers, erases our complexity, and makes us question whether we’re “wifey material” based on some outdated score.
This cultural obsession with numbers places women in a paradox: desired but devalued, free but judged. It creates an invisible pressure to perform, to restrict, to doubt. And over time, it teaches us to disconnect from our own desires.
But that ends here.
Let me say it loud: a number doesn’t define you, or me, or anyone. And anyone who places your value on a tally instead of your essence? Probably doesn’t deserve to be part of your life. At least in mine, that mindset doesn’t align.
Because I know who I am. I know what I want. And no number—high or low—limits the incredible human being that I am becoming.
The way we experience intimacy is deeply personal. Some people choose connection with others, others choose connection with themselves. Both are valid. Both are beautiful.
We are not here to meet expectations. We are here to meet ourselves. Fully.
Let’s talk about the space in between—that place where you feel desire, but not pressure. Where you want to connect, but on your own terms. Where your body is yours again.
This is where toys can come into the conversation. And not as a replacement, but as a choice. A reclamation.
Are they a way to explore without adding to your body count? Sure, if that’s what you want.
Are they a path to reconnect with your body without anyone else in the picture? Absolutely.
But let’s be clear: toys aren’t a solution to someone else’s judgment. They’re a celebration of your curiosity and autonomy. And whether you choose them or not, your pleasure is yours to own.
I do believe our energy is valuable. And no, we don’t just give it away. Not because of fear, but because we honor it.
Your body is not a transaction.
Your pleasure is not a performance.
Your history is not a liability.
You get to decide how your story unfolds. Not based on how many people have touched your body, but on how deeply you’ve chosen to know yourself.
So here it is:
This is your life. You only get one.
And in that life, your pleasure matters. Your freedom matters. Your voice, your truth, your experience—they all matter.
If you want to explore solo? Go for it.
If you want to be with someone and feel that connection? Own it.
If you’re still figuring it out? That’s perfect too.
There is no right way to be a woman in her power. There is only your way.
No judgment. No keeping score.
Just you, your body, and the sacred journey back to yourself.
Made in Heaven is here when you’re ready.
